My First Wurst

by spencertubbs

Let’s be real. You’ve wanted this as long as I have. So turn down the lights and put on the Barry White because tonight we’re making sausage. October may have passed, but the fest still goes on. That’s right we’re making the king of all German sausage: the bratwurst. Feast your eyes on these beauties:

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I know it’s a little intimidating, but don’t be nervous. It’s my first wurst too. Now before we get down and dirty, let’s talk about the equipment. Take a look at this baby:

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I won’t lie. I considered getting a hand crank model for a more intimate feel. But with a 575 Watt motor this baby can grind meat all night long. And since you don’t have to crank it, it leaves your other hand free for a beer…or cranking it…because look at all this sexy meat!

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I ground a combination of pork and veal for this bratwurst, and seasoned it with a mixture of celery seed, sage, mace, as well as white, green, and black pepper. I also added a little bit of a smokey German bock both for flavor and to even out the texture. The best way to do this (or at least the sexiest) is to put the meat in your stand mixer with the paddle attachment (Please sir, may I have another?) I worked in two batches because as it turns out 10lbs is a lot of fucking meat. (That’s what she said…)

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Before stuffing the casings, it was necessary to rinse them, since the ones I bought were packed in salt. It’s a good idea to run water through the length of them as well.

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(Here I am making water balloons out of pig intestines. Just kidding…but kind of)

From here the meat mixture goes back through the grinder. This time fitted with the sausage stuffing attachment.

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This is where sausage making truly becomes an art. You have to master filling the casing properly as incorrect filling will result either in air bubbles or a rupture of the casing. So take your time and go nice and slow. After a few tries I ended up with the iconic sausage swirl (style points for the Golden Ratio):

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Now you simply twist the casing to form links of your desired size. And there you have it. Look at that majestic mountain of meat!

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These bratwurst are ready for the grill as is. (And if your grill isn’t hot as fuck right now it should be) However, I recommend poaching them in a hot water bath for about 15 minutes prior to grilling to prevent your nubile sausages from prematurely bursting open on your grill. Once they’re poached just throw them on the grill and wait for them to take on some mouth watering color…or until you can’t stand to wait any longer. (I waited this long)

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You can serve with them whatever you wish, be it mustard, sauerkraut or spaetzle. But in my experience, you won’t need anything at all – because all you’re going to want is some unadulterated sausage. I know I do.

This has been a friendly reminder that Hell is Other People in the Kitchen.

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